Mother Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Just one creature was stirring, creeping round like a mouse
She ordered the presents at least 5 weeks ago
For what everyone wanted, only she would know
She sorts the stockings, filling each one with care
Has a robust system to know which wrapped gift goes where
And using a potato stamp she made days ago,
Makes reindeer prints out in the fairy dust snow
She drinks some milk, nibbles a mince pie, leaving crumbs
Smiles at how ridiculous this charade has become
A final check of the house, then off to her bed
Where she sleeps not a wink, too many thoughts in her head
A few hours later they arise with joyous screams
"MUMMY HE'S BEEN HE'S BEEN HE'S BEEN!"
And she cuddles them close, acts all surprised
As they open the paper to find the love wrapped inside
She lays back, smirking, trying not to feel pissed
that some old bearded dude will be thanked for all this.