Genesis of a Poet

My parents were rooted in Glasgow: Dad in Polmadie, south of the Clyde, and Mum in the northside Gallowgate. Dad working in the magnificent UCBS (bakery) building (now demolished), and Mum in the beautiful Templeton's building on Glasgow Green. Post-war, Dad became 'Governor' of a National Children's Home near Cathkin Braes and we lived initially in the mansion which still stands high on a hill among forty acres of trees.

I was born in 1947, the year of the Roswell Incident, and, until adulthood, never lived in a 'normal' street with neighbours. I went to school by tram (for a penny halfpenny) - too far from Cathkin to meet up with friends. This, in addition to John Knox's Scottish legacy of an inferiority complex and false modesty, made me socially inept. The fact that Dad became a Methodist Local Preacher aged eighteen, totally against alcohol, ('ruination of the working-class') meant I saw no-one drinking until my twenties and never had an interest in it: my highs come from emotions, music, dancing, being in Nature. All of this led me to consider myself to be 'an outsider, a weirdo' when I started work in my twenties!

Cathkin House had a unique oval ballroom where I danced, a huge, dark, basement with a creepy wine cellar and, from the three-story fire escape, an amazing view over Glasgow - at night, city lights twinkled and in daytime we could see the Campsies near where I lived years later, coming back to the city to live in a large Dennistoun tenement flat in my forties, later moving to the Gorbals where I still live. 

Living at Cathkin and trawling Cathkin Braes on my bike awakened fantasies and began the genesis of my 'poetic soul' - I believed in fairies and was very innocent, - no TV until I was twelve! The walled garden, full of fruit trees, had a 'summer house' on stilts - all etched on my psyche and still inhabiting my dreams! 

Aged ten I had two terrifying 'alien abduction' experiences, labelled years later when I read Whitley Strieber's books, experiencing a being coming into my bedroom in the night, transporting me effortlessly through the window into the woods outside. I read classics like Jane Eyre and Emily Bronte's poems plus Keats' "La Belle Dame Sans Merci". I danced around the grounds with blossom covered fronds pretending to be a fairy... 

My teachers introduced me to poetry by Wordsworth, Byron, et al and the Ballads Club to traditional Scottish songs. I loved writing essays and won the English prize in S5. However, I was too nervous to go to University, thinking everyone would be 'upper class', and much cleverer than I! Eventually, aged thirty-nine, I did go to Strathclyde University, gained an Honours Degree in English and Psychology and became an English Teacher.

At the same time, I was growing a family of three and, to lose baby-weight, my Doctor prescribed two weeks of amphetamines - yes, Speed was officially ok in the seventies - and that was when I wrote my first poetry! I hardly slept, feeling fabulously energised doing housework day and night while writing copious poetry! Pills finished, the Doc refused to give me more and I have never taken any drugs since, but thankfully my poetic soul had been ignited!

I have had much angst in my life, not least the death of my beloved son, Daniel, aged twenty-one, but I survived and became a bereavement counsellor in my late fifties. Now, aged seventy-seven, I am glad to be able to recognise myself for the first time as a Poet, thanks to Glasgow City of Poets! Most of my poetry, written over forty+ years, has been born of extreme emotion, night-time inspiration, or a desire to record a life-event. I rarely sit down to deliberately 'write a poem' - and that is why I feel my poetry is organic and never contrived. 

Lilian McDade